ARDIRI

Reading is FUN(damental)

• Jean-Paul Sartre's Existentialism is a Humanism

(Reading for Masters Thesis)

I am reading this transcript of Sartre's 1945 lecture defending Existentialism from charges made against it by the Christians and the Communists.  The editor, Annie Cohen-Solal, in the introduction decries this book as NOT being a good introduction to Sartre's Existentialism, but I fully disagree with her.  If you've not read much philosophy or have never read any of Sartre's huge, intricate tome Being and Nothingness, Existentialism is a Humanism provides an excellent primer to Sartre's theories.

I am especially appreciating how Sartre conveys Existentialism as a philosophy of optimism rather than pessimism, which one could too easily feel when confronted with the terms "anguish, dread, despair, abandonment, alienation," etc.   He avers that:

"[...R]eality alone counts. Man is nothing but a series of of enterprises, and that he is the sum, organization, and aggregate of the relations that constitute such enterprises.

What matters is the total commitment.  [Existentialism is not ...] a philosophy of quietism,  since it defines a man by his actions, nor can it be called a pessimistic description of man, for no doctrine is more optimistic since it declares that man's destiny lies within himself."
(emphasis added, 38-40)

• The Life Room by Jill Bialosky

(Reading for FUN!)

I picked this one up off the "New Books" bookshelf at the library, intrigued by the cover which features a woman with one green eye and one blue eye (which I'll admit to pulling off last week to save contacts for the job interview.  I had a sample green contact so I wore it alongside my regular, clear contact in one--giving me one blue eye and one green.  That really freaked my students out!).

Turns out that this is a well-written book--compelling, with gorgeous word choice; a reminiscence of a woman's past loves from childhood to adulthood (as I understand it thus far, 100 pages in.)

Some excerpts:

"Her mother invited her best friends [...] They formed their own foursome, a group of women from the neighborhood whose husbands had either abandoned them, or died, or divorced them.  She [Eleanor, the main character] learned from them that you could fill an entire lunch talking about fabrics for your couch or the color to paint your walls. She also learned that it was possible to survive disappointment  if you chose to, or disappointment could put a dam in the middle of your life and you'd never be able to move forward.  She learned that love could last a lifetime or a day, that there were all kinds of possibilities for losing faith or finding it.  She learned that if you did not have faith, if you did not fulfill your dreams, they might hibernate in your head, creating such friction you couldn't lift it from the pillow." (emphasis added, 61)

and:

"Adam explained how a painter seals a canvas with a layer of gesso, that gesso used to be mixed with rabbit-skin glue and that it is used to prime a canvas before a painter begins to paint with oils.  He explained that oil rots fabric, hence the reason for priming it.  That always seemed an interesting irony.  That oil paint, the material a painter uses to create beauty, has the capacity to rot the fabric it is applied to.  As if all beauty is capable of ruin." (emphasis added, 91)

What happens to a dream deferred?

In working away on my thesis for my Masters Degree, I am re-reading Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man, which is prefaced by this Langston Hughes poem:

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

A Penny for Your Thoughts...

That's all?  A penny won't get ya very far, will it Holly?  Nope, not all all!!  However...

• In College: If you decide to study the Humanities (philosophy, literature, the "Classics"), Art, or even Psychology, DO THE SMART THING and also major in Business or Science.  Spend an extra year (or two) in college and do the double major thing, that way you'll satisfy your passion, plus have a bit of practicality.  (Even better is to do the community college thing for your general education classes and then transfer to the college of your dreams!)


• In Life and Pursuance of a Career: Learn how to network; it helps at all times, but especially during economic downturns.

• Money: Do indeed save that three months worth of living expenses.  Six months is even better!  You'll never know when you'll need it.   Plus, you can always  take half of it and go on a vacation to some exotic place!  Oooh-la-la.

So what's up with me?  Why all the annoying Auntie Holly advice? 

• I'm seeking a new job and boy-oh-boy does the job/career world like the business- and science-minded folks.

• Networking actually works!  Just today I might have a lead on a job for a junior/high private school in the Bay Area via a college friend.  Yippee!

• And, well, we all (or almost all of us) could almost always use a reminder to save some of our dough.  Consumption is not always the answer.

I'll give you a metaphorical nickel for your thoughts.  Any nuggets of advice?  (BTW, if it is especially good, I may even knit you something or send you some yarn.)

Battered and Bruised

Some thoughts on writing:

Sometimes, as I fight my way through an essay or paper for school, a particularly important email or letter, I end up feeling a bit battered and bruised.  Struggling for the right words, a smooth transition, a clear summation can easily feel like a boxing match between my self and the page.  Ideas flying out of my brain like swift right hooks that fail to hit the metaphorical cheek.  Words stuck on the tip of my tongue like dried, cakey blood.  And always a bitter procrastination resulting from a sharp fear of falling short of ideals (Whose? Mine, yours, a professor's...)  Thus, it is that I write with a sense of battle weariness.  A panicked pugilist quivering at the ropes of the ring.

Saturday Slrog Roundup: November 4-10

• November 4, Sunday--2.76 miles running & lower body weight training.

• November 6, Tuesday--2.01 miles running & upper body weight training.

• November 8, Thursday--3.26 miles running & lower body weight training. 

Question of the day's workout: Why do people apply fresh perfume before going to the gym?  Personally, if I am running, one of the last things I want to do is gulp down clouds of perfume!

• No running on today (Saturday) as John and I are headed off to UC Santa Cruz for the weekend.  We are both alumni/alumna of UCSC and he will be attending some conference while I'll be trotting around the campus and the town in a fog of nostalgia ; ) !

A Look at Rodriguez's Hunger of Memory

In Hunger of  Memory: The Education of Richard Rodriguez,Rodriguez relates his life story--from being a child entering a private Catholic school with the knowledge of only 50 English words to becoming a Stanford scholarship student and finally a Ph.d student of Literature at UC Berkeley concluding his studies with a year abroad in the UK studying at the British Museum's Reading Room.  As he tells his story, Rodriguez illustrates the pain and empowerment of assimilation into public culture, the culture and society outside of his familial home.

Rodriguez makes a cogent argument against both bilingual education and affirmative action and shares how he faces scorn and anger from the Chicano movement and others who support bilingual education and affirmative action.  Near the beginning of the book, I was a bit torn up by his anti-affirmative action argument, but found that he gave credible reasons near the end of his story.  Rodriguez contends that oppression not only effects all races, as well as women and homosexuals, but that what America is clearly not seeing is the effect that class has on the individual’s opportunity to succeed in American society. Of course, the American class system is not as visible as that which still exists in Britain or the caste system in India, but it is nevertheless there and I see it as being delineated by one’s levels of affluence vs. poverty and the education concomitant with that affluence or poverty. Those who are impoverished economically tend to be also educationally impoverished by virtue of attending an anemic school system, while those who are more affluent have the ability to purchase a home in a high-performing school district or to send their children to an excellent private school.  Rodriguez identifies those who are economically and educationally impoverished--of all races, sexes, and sexual identities--as "cultural minorities".

Rather than calling for affirmative action at the college or university level, Rodriguez avers that a fundamental change needs to occur at the elementary, middle, and secondary levels wherein a new, and invigorated emphasis is put on excellent early schooling.  However, Rodriguez does not ignore the fact that the schools cannot make this change alone; rather he sees it as a change that needs to occur across all levels of society--from the individual, to the family/home, community, and via the  governmental institutions.

In explaining his call for the elimination of bilingual education, Rodriguez points out that:

[...] bilingual educators say that children lose a degree of  'individuality' by becoming assimilated into public society...But the bilingualists simplistically scorn the value and and necessity of assimilation.  They do not seem to realize that there are two ways a person is individualized.  So they do not realize that while one suffers a diminished sense of private individuality by becoming assimilated into public society, such assimilation makes it possible the achievement of public individuality.

The bilingualists insist that a student should be reminded of his difference from others in mass society, his heritage.  But they equate mere separateness with individuality.  The fact is that only in private--with intimates--is separateness from the crowd a prerequisite for individuality  (An intimate draws me apart, tells me that I am unique, unlike all others.)  In public, by contrast, full individuality is is achieved, paradoxically, by those who are able to consider themselves members of the crowd.  Thus it happened for me: Only when I was able to think of myself as an American, no longer an alien in gringo society, could I seek the rights and opportunities necessary for full public individuality. (26-7)

Not being a minority in society (as women are no longer a numerical minority, although we still slam up against many a glass ceiling!), I am not sure how an ethnic minority might feel about such ideas as Rodriguez espouses.  However, his entire book solidly backs the above statement and his argument for the elimination of both affirmative action and bilingual education.  I suppose the one thing I full-heartedly support is the Equal Rights Amendment which has fallen out of the sights of most politicians and citizens today.  As for bilingual education, I can see the possibility of it being a necessity for a year of education to help students learn English.  Additionally, I think all students should be learning at least a second language, if not a third or fourth at an early age like other countries such as Korea, Germany, etc.  I would like to see the elimination of affirmative action through strong and invigorating elementary and secondary schooling opportunities for all!

Procrastinating Again...

Another post in which Mamoko and Zoe take over blogging duties.

Zoe: Uh!  Oh!  Mom's procrastinating again...
Look at this adorable kitty she found on the internet at the Random Kitten Generator:

Mamoko: I hope she's not thinking of getting another cat!  Then she'd really be a wacked-out, crazy cat lady.
Zoe: Uh, don't you think she already is?  Here's she's writing our conversation with human words and we only meow-meow.
Mamoko: Good point, but she did only get 2.5 hours of sleep last night!  Then she worked all day with her project partners and only took another 3 hour nap this evening!  She may be a bit loopy, but it's probably just sleep-deprivation.
Zoe:  Most likely.  She probably feels a bit too much like this kitty here (From the Random Kitten Generator):

Mamoko: Yep!  Zoe, you should give her the Evil-eye to get her back to working on that final project for that super-outrageously-tough-grading professor.
Zoe: Okay, here goes...Powers of the Evil-Eye Potently Prevail!!!

Mamoko:  Good job, now let's go to sleep--again!

Zoe: Okay, but can you try not to take up the whole chair?
Mamoko: Zzzzzzz.

Mamoko & Zoe Temporarily Take Over Blogging Duties

We're almost Yin and Yang:

But Mom won't even come close to a state of Zen till she finishes her damn final project for class!

No matter, we'll just kiss and cuddle while she types away and ignores us:

This --> <-- Close!

I am this -->  <-- close to being done with this semester!  Yet within that small space of time and energy, there is sooooooooooo much to be accomplished:

I have a massive project to finish up with my group for my Tuesday night class that comprises something crazy, like 60% of our grade.  I am essentially done with my Thursday night class, as I only have to turn in a single unit plan that is a teeny-tiny part of the aforementioned massive project.  When those two things are done, I will have earned my Post-Secondary Reading Certificate which will assist me in getting a tenure-track community college English teaching job in the super-duper competitive job market of the San Francisco Bay Area.  YAY!  I will have accomplished something BIG and have more courage to go forward and rock my thesis!  Yes, the dreaded thesis that I fear as if it were Hantavirus or Ebola ( I so think "Ebola in the Toilet" would make a great punk rock band name, don't you?)  Anyways, as I was saying: I shall attack my thesis with great confidence and energy as if I were a starving shark sighting the pudgy, dangling legs of a tyro teenage surfer.

In addition to finishing up final projects, there is packing to be done.  Ugh, packing.  And deciding how to take all my yarn and knitting books home with me this summer in my parent's small SUV--in addition to needed books for school, clothing for  a mountainous climate, cats and all their gear (litter box, food, toys, and so forth), and--lest I should forget--my tent for camping out in the backyard.

There is also moving household items--bed, books, books, and more books, dressers, bookshelves, kitchen things, etc.--into storage. Double ugh...Ugh. Ugh.

Oh, and there is the dealing with lovely sinus pain--it's either allergies or general-end-of-the-semester sickness.  Yippee.  Looks like I'll be taking a short break from running (the Slrog).

And now, before I set down to do some late night work on the crazy-massive project, I shall share some knitting and other pictures with you (or rather, I shall procrastinate just a bit more!):

A gift for a teacher:

My messy, FEMA-Disaster-ish desk, complete with Tab for energy:

TOYS! donated by a classmate, Victoria, for Cyrano's Creature Comforts Drive (displayed on the blankie made by Chris of Stumbling Over Chaos):

A bit of progress on my Glampyre's Fitted Knits Boatneck Bluebell Sweater:

And a view of my hometown that I'll be heading to next Friday:

Now, I shall be a good student and slave away on The Project and get a few hours of sleep before I meet my Project Partners at World Ground in Oakland to slave away some more.  (BTW--I am NOT the Holly F. who left that nasty review of the place.  I love World Ground--especially their hummus & bagels.  I used to live across the street from this cafe and it rocks.)

The Slrog

N.B. As I warned readers when I first started publishing my running exploits: If reading about my running bores you, skip any posts that are titled "The Slrog" or something that features the word "Slrog" in the title!  Nobody's complained, but I imagine some of you are just bored silly by my posts on running.  I do know that I feel more compelled "to get my run on" knowing that there are people out there like P-La, Lain, Angela , Karen, Devorah, Amanda, Debby, Miriam , Mandy, Dana, Elaine, Carrie K. (and so many more!) who are cheering me on and "expecting" to get out there and run.  Muchas Smoochas, Ladies!

• May 7, Monday--4 miles running.  No timer.  Started out timing myself and then just clicked the clear button.  Sometimes you just gotta run without thinking too much about time.

Today's Run was Sponsored by the Letters H, O, and P:
H:  As in, "Help!  It is as Hot as Hell Here!"  (Really only in the 90's Fahrenheit)
O:  As in, "OUCH!"  My quads hurt from Saturday's twelve-mile-plus run.
P:  As in, "Hello, Procrastination!  I should really Prioritize schoolwork and Packing over running."

• Runagogo Round II: Total mileage 91.83 miles (only counting actual runs, not counting cycling, walking, etc).